Breaking Down
by SVUlover
Summary: He used to be what built her up. Then he turned out to be the cause behind everything breaking her down. He was A, he betrayed her, he was the father of the child inside of her. But worse than all of that...she still loved him. Spoby teen pregnancy story, takes place after 3A finale .
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! Welcome to my new story. I've been unable to get this idea out of my head since the 3A finale. I hope there's some interest, please let me know how you guys like it!  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

**-Jen  
**

* * *

She'd never remembered her dreams before this, not once. In her seventeen years of life, she couldn't remember a single dream she had ever had. But for a few weeks now, she had been remembering. Essentially it was the same dream every time she shut her eyes to sleep. Though the sequence of events changed, it always involved the same things: an unidentified figure in all black darting in and out of different aspects of her life, succeeding in ruining their lives. It always ended with the same black hooded figure in a dark room similar to the lair she'd found during the masquerade ball, extending it's gloved hand to unzip a body bag, revealing a decaying, zombie-like version of Alison. This nightmare plagued her all the time for some reason, leaving her waking up in tears and cold-sweat, terrified.

Because of that nightmare, though she desperately needed it nowadays, sleep was never that restful. She was always exhausted, way more than usual now and between schoolwork and the constant threat of A, Spencer was near breaking point. It was a week after Halloween, it had been a little over a month since the whole ordeal with Nate/Lyndon. Emily, though shaken at having stabbed someone, was doing alright. She was happy with Paige, but beyond that things were hard for all of the girls.

The afternoon of Tuesday, November 6th had found her doing three essays, all due that week…until she had fallen asleep on her bed, textbooks and papers spread around her, and on top of her. The clock had just turned to 5:34 pm when subconsciously, she felt someone touching her, shaking her as in the confines of her mind it was happening: the masked person's gloved hand pulled down the zipper, revealing the terrifying sight. In reality letting out a cry, she forced herself awake; her eyes shot open before squinting in defense of the painfully bright light.

She was breathing heavily, tears rolling down her face as she sat up. "Spence," a gentle voice said, and she jumped, having not realized she wasn't alone. "It's just me, it's ok," Toby said softly, as she looked up at him through her tears.

In her half asleep, vulnerable state, she let herself cave against him as she let out another cry, burying her face in his chest. She felt his arms wrap around her, felt him gently rubbing her back. "Shh, Spence, it's ok, it was just a dream." He whispered in her ear, kissing her forehead.

She really hated showing this kind of vulnerability in front of anyone…she was a Hastings, after all. They were strong, they weren't supposed to be vulnerable. Ordinarily, when she cried, she did it alone. But with him, it felt ok. She felt safe, she knew he wouldn't judge her. That, combined with the fact that her whole system felt so out of what, resulted in the present situation. "Y-Yeah…" She said against him after a moment, "It-it was just a bad dream," She agreed, calming down. "I'm fine..." She trailed off, remembering what she had been doing before she'd dozed off.  
"Shit!" She exclaimed, pulling away, grabbing her phone. She observed the time, 5:38 PM, as well as a text message and missed call from Aria. She knew the look of relief on her face when there was no messages from an unknown number was clear, and she didn't want him to question why she was so wary of her phone again, question about A, so she let the phone drop to the bed. "Crap," she let out, it coming out as an aggravated, stressed whimper as she ran her hands through her hair, pulling at it.

"What, babe, what's wrong?" He asked, gently taking her hands, preventing her from pulling her own hair.

"I have so much to do, how could I have fallen asleep!" She exclaimed, "I just…I can't do this," She said, tears of stress and exhaustion falling from her eyes, "This is all too much." She admitted. It was, between school, A, her family, her exhaustion and feeling sick lately, it was all becoming too much. It had been too much for a while, but she was just now admitting it out loud.

"Between school, and college applications, and my parents...and the fact that one of my best friends could have been murdered a month ago, I wrongly accused Paige of trying to hurt her, Caleb got shot, Garret's free, and my dead best friend's body is missing...it's all too much." She cried, him pulling her back into his arms. "And on top of all that I just feel like I can never get enough sleep anymore, it's all I ever want to do. I'm exhausted all of the time, and it feels like one second I'm happy, the next I want to cry and freak out, and then I want to bite someone's head off! I just...I don't know how to handle all of this anymore, Toby, but if I let this all show, my parents will just start lecturing me about how I'm a Hastings and this is my future and college and I just...I can't do it all anymore." She sobbed, feeling like a big pot full of hormones and stress.

"Spence, you need to calm down," Toby said, holding her close. "Emily is fine, she's ok and you were just worrying about her. Caleb is fine, and don't worry about Garrett. He just got out of jail, I doubt he'll do anything. You can't do anything about the remains being gone, it's not your fault. Stop freaking out over things you have no control over, it's making you crazy." He said, leaning back to look at her, absently moving her hair away from her face. "And as for school, it's ok to relax a little. You're going to get into your first choice school, they'll be begging you to come, and you'll finish your senior year fine...you just have to try to stop freaking out, all this stress is bad for you. I'm worried about you."

"Don't worry," Spencer sighed, hating worrying him. "I'm fine, I will be. I just...I needed to freak out for a minute. I should really be studying or doing those papers," She said, even as she let her eyes shut, "But I don't have the energy right now." She said softly, forcing her eyes open. "Thank you for coming to see me," She added absently, really glad that he was there. She'd missed him and him being there meant she wasn't alone, which she hated knowing A was out there. "I love you," she added, reaching up to kiss him.

He kissed her back softly, before slowly pulling away, moving his hands to her sides, pulling her closer to him. "I love you too. Whenever you need me I'll be there, always...you know that, right? If you ever need to just freak out, I'm always here. I love you, Spence." He said with sincerity, easily lifting her onto his lap.

She smiled, using her hand to absently trace shapes on the back of his hand, pressing a kiss to his neck since it was easily reached. "I know you will be." She said honestly. She trusted him with her life, she knew he would always be there. "Just...stay here with me for a while," She whispered, cuddling to him, enjoying having this moment even though she knew that outside of this little bubble, life was kind of hell.

"Of course," he obliged, holding her tighter, letting a comfortable silence fall over them and he pressed a sweet kiss to her forehead. Absently, Spencer glanced to the window when she saw a few leaved fall by outside. It was then, however, that her eyes fell on the large dry-erase calendar above her desk. She hadn't yet changed it to November, and her eyes fell to October ninth, more specifically to the big red dot on that square. The big red dot that served as a reminder to expect her period...her period that had been on time every month like clockwork since she'd gotten it when she was twelve. Her period that had never come. "Oh my God," She whispered before she could stop herself, suddenly feeling sick.

"Spence?" Toby asked, confused. "What's wrong?" He didn't get why her calendar was making her so upset all of a sudden, why she'd tensed in his arms.

Spencer's heart beating faster than ever, she shook her head. "N-nothing," She lied easily, too easily, thanks to being friends with Alison and dealing with A for so long. "I'm fine...I just remembered my dinner plans with the girls. Aria's been freaking out lately and we're going to take her out to try to get her mind off of it," She said, not a total lie. She had planned on getting dinner with her friends, but she wasn't going to keep those plans now. But he didn't need to know that. He didn't need to know about any of this, not yet.

She needed to be alone, she needed to think. "I'm sorry." She added, "I wish I could stay with you, but I promised. Tomorrow, after school, I'm all yours, ok?" She asked, praying he wouldn't question her, praying he'd let it go.

Something was working in her favor, because he nodded, glancing at the clock. "Ok, it's no problem," He agreed, though he was worried now. "Call me later, though?" He asked.

"Sure," She agreed, getting up to make it look like she was going to get ready. "I love you," She added, hugging him, accepting his kiss.

"I love you, too," He said, waving as he left. She watched from her window, waving as he drove away. Once she could no longer see his car, she finally let her guard down, allowed the panic to sink in. Her chest was tightening up, she felt like she couldn't breathe as she counted and recounted the days in her head, as she reviewed every possible symptom she felt. When it all added up to the wrong thing, the worst possible thing, she started over.

When her phone rang from her bed, she numbly picked it up without looking at the caller ID, whispering, "Hello?"

"Spence?" Aria asked, "What's up, are you ok? You're late."

"I...sorry." Spencer said.

"Spencer, are you ok? You sound terrified, what's wrong? Are you coming to dinner?" Aria questioned, concerned.

"No." she whispered. "I'm not ok." She admitted, the tears spilling over.

"Well what's wrong? Are you at home, we're coming over," She said, and Spencer heard a car door shut.

"Yea, I'm home." She said, and then she knew what she had to do. "Can you get-" she stopped, not wanting to say it out loud, not wanting to let it become real.

"Spence, what do you need? I can get you anything, just tell me what you need." Arie pleaded as Hanna began driving away from The Grille.

It took her a moment, but she finally said it, it coming out as a terrified sob. "A pregnancy test." They all heard it, the phone having been on speaker. Hannah slammed on the brakes, stopping pulling away from the curb, all three girls looking at each other in shock.

"We'll be right there," Aria said quickly, motioning for Hanna to drive, "It's going to be ok, Spence," She promised, but the only answer she got was the sound of Spencer crying.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so much for your great reviews! I'm so glad you guys are liking this :) This chapters a little short so I apologize in advance. Please let me know what you think, I'll try my best to update ASAP!  
**

**Enjoy!  
**

**-Jen  
**

* * *

Minutes after Spencer had ended the phone call; Aria, Emily, and Hanna were inside a small drugstore right outside of town. The three girls stood in front of a large variety of pregnancy tests, debating on which one to get.

"Why are there so many freaking different kinds?" Hanna complained, "It's a stick you pee on, for God's sake!"

"Well that one has a digital readout, that one is a plus or minus, that one's two lines or one line...they vary in price." Emily pointed out.

"Yea, but you pee on it, it tells you if you're knocked up, and that's that!" Hannah said, "Why do they make it so complicated. Which one should I get?" She sighs.

"Hanna...?"

All three girls turned to see a terrified looking Caleb a few feet away. "Caleb!" Hanna exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"I was driving back from taking a drive, and I wanted a drink," He said, holding up a bottle of coke, "Then I saw you walk in here, and now I'm having a heart attack." He said seriously.

"Why?" She asked, before it clicked. "Oh!" She exclaimed, "No, I'm not getting it for me!" She said, "I promise, it's not for me I've been taking my pills, and next week I'll be complaining about the cramps and the blood and yea...it's not for me."

"Then who is it for?" Caleb asked, eyebrow raised, though his relief was clear.

"My mom," Hanna said quickly, having a feeling Spencer didn't want her mentioning it to Caleb. "Her job is donating to the homeless shelter," She said, "And they need pregnancy tests, so I'm getting a couple for her to donate."

"Yea, didn't she want jugs of water, too, Han?" Emily asked, "I'll get some!" She said, heading for the coolers.

"Yea, remember when we said no more lies?" He said pointedly. "Just...promise it's not for you? If it is, tell me and we can figure stuff out, if it's not then I'll mind my own business."

"It's not for me, I swear." She said, sighing. "I swear."

"Ok," He said, "Then I'm going to go home, and I will call you later." He said, "Tell whomever it's for good luck. Love you." he said, leaning down to kiss her.

She smiled, kissing him back. "Love you, too," she called, watching him leave.

"Let's just get one of each of these three, and go," Aria said, grabbing one of the digitals, one of the positive or negative, and one with the lines.

"You want her to generate enough pee for that many pregnancy tests?" Hanna asked.

"That's what the water Emily is getting is for! Besides, she can like...pee in a cup and put them in. Let's just get out of here, she's waiting." Aria said, meeting with Emily and going to the counter. Luckily, the cashier was an old woman who could barely see, that they didn't know. Aria shoved the bag they got into her purse, and they hurried back to Hanna's car.

She drove above the legal limit, making it to Spencer's in record time. When they got there, they went right in. "Spence?" Aria called out, "It's us!"

She appeared at the top of the stairs, in leggings and what looked to be another of Toby's shirts, her hair in a messy bun. Her eyes were red and puffy, she had makeup running down her face. But what got to them the most was the look on her face, they'd never seen her look more scared.

They all shared a look, before hurrying up the stairs. Aria got there first, wrapping Spencer in her arms, the other two joining in. "It'll be ok, Spence," Aria said gently. "We'll figure this out."

"Maybe I'm not," Spencer said, trying to be hopeful even though she knew there was no hope. "Maybe it's just a warning to not be stupid."

"Was the first time the only time you did it?" Hanna asked as they moved into Spencer's room.

"Yea, we haven't really had the chance since then." She whispered, sitting on her bed and pulling her knees up to her chest. "What if I am?" She said, looking up at them. "What if this isn't just a reminder to be more careful? How could I be so stupid!" She cried, "I knew we should've used a condom, I had plans to be safe and...then it happened and it was the last thing on my mind, I wasn't thinking."

"Why don't you do the test, Spence," Emily suggested gently. "An answer will be better than beating yourself up over what ifs."

"Yea," Aria agreed, pulling the bag out of her purse. "We got three different ones, to be sure. Pee in a cup or something and put them in."

"What will I do." She repeated, looking between all three of her friends. She felt lost, clueless.

"Find out yes or no, and then we can worry about that." Emily said. "No matter what, we're here for you, Spence."

"Always," Hanna agreed.

Spencer looked to Aria last, who gave her a smile, sitting beside her and hugging her. "Hey, we're Team Sparia, remember? No matter what. It could've been me in this position you know. It could've been any of us." She said softly.

"Well, except for Emily," Hanna chimed in. They all looked at her then, and she shrugged her shoulders, "It's true!"

They Emily and Aria laughed, and Spencer actually cracked a smile. "Come on," Emily said, handing Spencer the bag. "Now or never."

Spencer took a deep breath and nodded, taking the bag before slowly heading into her bathroom. She grabbed one of the plastic cups she kept in there in case she wanted water and for when she brushed her teeth, and then did as Aria had suggested. After flushing the toilet, she opened all three boxes, skimmed the directions, and then took a deep breath, putting the three sticks into the cup. She washed her hands, and then hurried back into her room. "Three minutes," she whispered, and Emily set the timer on her phone.

Spencer sat on her bed, moving to the middle. Aria and Hanna sat on either side of her, wrapping an arm around her. She let her head fall to rest on Aria's shoulder as Emily sat cross legged in front of her, taking her hands tightly.

It felt less scary, knowing they were there, knowing she wasn't alone. But still, it felt like this was part of the nightmare. Part of her hoped it was, and that she'd wake up in a cold sweat having learned her lesson, before going to her doctor to get on birth control.

_'If these are negative, I will go to the doctor tomorrow and get on the pill. I'll donate my entire bank account to charity. I'll do anything, just please, please let them be negative.'_

The timer on Emily's phone interrupted her pleas, and Emily turned it off, but she didn't move from her spot between her friends. "Do you want one of us to look?" Hannah asked.

"If someone looks, it might say yes." Spencer whispered.

"It'll be ok," Aria said again, not knowing what else to say.

They sat there together with her for a few more minutes, holding her, letting her take her time. Eventually she said, "Emily, could you look?"

Emily nodded, and got off the bed, heading into the bathroom. Spencer squeezed her eyes shut, tensing her body, finding Aria's and Hanna's hands to squeeze since Emily's were no longer available.

She knew what Emily was going to say when she heard her walk back into the room, and Aria and Hanna held her tighter, said it would be ok. She knew it, and she was right.

Emily said two words, and everything was turned upside down.

"All positive."


End file.
